living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
