Can i not drive my cunt home
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
