i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
