I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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