I wish i was in the wii world.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
