I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
