Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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