it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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