At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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