K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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