he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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