This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
