More tranny stories later!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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