i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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