Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The power of my boobs compel you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
