i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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