she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
