you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
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Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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