We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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