Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
