that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
