I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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