i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
jump out the window naked night went bad
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
