North Korea, Best Korea!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
not ubering you a puppy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize