thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
