I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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