it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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