sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
