and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
