How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think people are normalizing furries
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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