I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
