i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
