Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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