Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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