So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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