belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
