I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
