it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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