there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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