He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
