dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
jump out the window naked night went bad
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
