btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
