Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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