im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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