let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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