did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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