well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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