I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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