Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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