Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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