Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
