I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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