i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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