i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
