We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
