Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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